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Picture This.

You take a moment, to do absolutely nothing, but close your eyes, and revisit the memories that have only caused you such agonizing pain. The exact words that stab at your soul. The exact names that shatter your heart. The reason that very well exists, in which only make you wish that you didn’t. These memories..resonate..dwell..linger..possibly forgiven..but never forgotten..

I don’t know why I do this. Some sort of selfish satisfaction I guess. It not only reminds me that I am not good enough, but it also reminds me that somebody else is.

Live. Laugh. Love.

Picture This.

03:28 am: picturethisblog10 notes

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Picture This.

Days full of coughing, sneezing, runny nose, headaches, and checking for fevers. Nights full of many blankets, tired eyes, dirty tissues, tossing, and turning. Countless times of taking medicine around the clock, warming up some hot tea, and cooking soup for every meal of the day.

Don’t you absolutely hate being sick?! I totally dread it. It’s such a horrible feeling. I feel so drained, like my body can’t function properly because if it. All I ever want to do while I’m sick is lay around and go to sleep all day. Yet, I can’t do that because I have work. The worst part is, when I get sick, I get sick for a long time. I’m always looking at at least a week of dealing with the sickness. So everything is just nonstop until FINALLY, I start to feel better. Oh well, I guess we still have to keep going on with our daily lives even though we may be sick. I guess it’s our body’s way of telling us to slow down, relax, and take it easy.

Live. Laugh. Love.

Picture This.

01:25 am: picturethisblog13 notes

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Picture This.

The beautiful, dark, cherry wood cabinets. The matching, smooth, cherry wood flooring. The flawless, stainless steal appliances. The perfect shade of luscious granite counter tops. The precise amount of lighting from the illuminating lamps. The absolute collection of cookware, utensils, and glass. The most astonishing kitchen.

I sincerely miss this kitchen so much. It was the kitchen of my parent’s house, before the recession had hit. The house itself was a dream of my mom’s, and it became a dream of the family’s as well. It was big, with high ceilings, filled with an embracing ambiance. The kitchen however, was the most breathtaking feature of all. I felt at ease in that place. I felt like every ounce of imagination could come to life there. I loved the freedom it provided, and I knew it well.  If only one day, I could own a kitchen just like this one. I’m sure we all know what our dream house looks like; I know I do. Although, we never know how the future is going to unfold, so whether I get my dream house or not, I dearly hope I get my dream kitchen.

Live. Laugh. Love.

Picture This.

06:51 pm: picturethisblog21 notes

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Picture This.

Your job gives you this challenging opportunity to promote and advertise the business at the local college. Of course you take it because it’s a new and exciting challenge that has just been introduced into your life. It has it’s up and downs, but you still stick through none the less. So what’s the problem? Well, of course, it’s work.

So I’m not going to lie, this entry is mostly to vent and complain. The challenge I was given is a great opportunity not only for the business, but for me as well. It will allow me to break out of my shell and step outside of my comfort zone. Although this opportunity has its challenges, I am up for it so far. But this is not what I wanted to complain about. Can you imagine, how much I do for my job already, and even more so that I’m willing to do this added on challenge, how is it that I am still at the BOTTOM OF THE TOTEM POLE? It extremely sucks. Some of my co-workers get promoted for kissing ass, leave for the summer for vacation, and then come back only still to be placed above me? Um..yea it’s not like I worked for a whole freaking four months more than they have. It’s not like I spent all this time learning what I have learned only to be placed below those who don’t even know HALF of the things that I know. It’s not like I spent all this time working hard only to be bossed around by people who don’t nearly deserve the privileges that they have. BUT I DID SPEND ALL THAT TIME. So, now what can I do? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. There’s nothing I can do, and this is what bugs me the most. Sigh, any advice? I’m listening..

Live. Laugh. Love.

Picture This.

12:45 am: picturethisblog49 notes

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Picture This.

Your parents are coming to visit. Of course you’re excited because it’s been a while since you’ve seen them, and you’re looking forward to a little bit of quality time. But, before they come over, this only means one thing for you: TIME TO CLEAN. 

So, here I am, awake in the wee hours of the morning. I’ve just finished placing everything where it needs to be, removing anything from where it doesn’t need to be, and cleaning any and every possible thing that needs be cleaned. Of course, I’m exhausted. Especially after working an eight hour shift for the day. So, why am I awake you ask? Well, I somehow get into what I like to call "CLEANING MODE." Sometimes when you’re too occupied with other aspects of your life, you seem to neglect your living space. This is the story of my life. And so, hence the crazy hours I needed to spend just to clean out this place. It’s funny how I get into this “cleaning mode” though. It’s like, I don’t mind leaving things out, or getting things dirty, but once I start to clean? I CLEAN. I have to visualize exactly what I need to get done, how I want everything to look, and I won’t rest until I’m completely happy with the turn out. Well, at least I am ALMOST close to being satisfied. Oh, I hope I’m not some kind of weird neat freak. Does someone out there share my pain?

Live. Laugh. Love.

Picture This

06:45 am: picturethisblog37 notes

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Picture This.

You’ve been working at this dead end job for six months now. It only pays minimum wage and it barely gets you by with all the rent, bills, groceries, and anything else that eats up your money. None the less, you still work very hard because it is first and foremost..A JOB. Even if it’s not the most ideal job, you still work as hard as you possibly could to prove yourself. But even with all the hours, effort, and sweat you put into it, you still come up short.

Now readers, tell me you have been through this at least once before. You constantly fight with your own thoughts about anything and everything. Is this job even worth it? Well it pays for things.. Do I deserve to be so belittled no matter how much of myself I put into it? Well it pays for things.. Does this job deserve me even though I have to sacrifice my dignity? Well..IT PAYS FOR THINGS. Again and again, it’s a constant thought process. I always ask myself why I’m even putting up with it all, but when you need the money, you do everything you possibly can. The only plus side of all this? I LOVE MY CO-WORKERS. I don’t really know if it’s because I spend so much time with them, but I feel like we’ve all made some really close friendships. This is the one of very few reasons why I still keep going. I’m glad that at least I have that to keep me motivated. Still, there is so much resentment residing within me. It just really gets on my nerves that for as long as I’ve been there (it’s a pretty new business, and I’ve been working there since it first opened), people who got hired after me are getting promoted. If there is one thing I’ve learned..HARD WORK DOES NOT PAY OFF..KISSING ASS DOES.

Live. Laugh. Love.

Picture This.

01:14 am: picturethisblog4 notes

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Picture This.

You love fashion. You love clothes, make-up, accessories, shoes, and anything and everything you can possibly think of. These are the things that make a woman feel beautiful, sexy, and powerful. You thrive in the feeling of confidence when you walk outside knowing you look amazing. You treat every day like it’s a runway..only you’re not a size 2.

Hello! Hello! The problem above is something I have struggled with way too many times in my life, and maybe you have too. But first, I want to clear things up a bit. This entry is not for me to complain about the media or society, nor is it to rant about being a plus size girl in a small size world. This entry is for those who are, well, average. No, I am not a plus size girl, nor am I an overly dramatic size 2 girl. I want to speak to those who are in the middle who constantly struggle with weight gain and even weight loss. In truth, the moments when I feel pretty and confident is when my clothes, hair, and make-up looks just right. But then, there is the limit to feeling great. Why? Because of my weight. It saddens me to know that my clothes don’t fit me like it used to. I hate seeing all of my imperfections, knowing where my fat has accumulated. I’m at that point where I should probably buy more fitting clothes, but I’m afraid to come to terms with the weight that I’ve gained.

Now, I know what you’re all thinking. With a little bit of exercise and dieting, I will be good to go! Unfortunately, it’s not as easy as it sounds. I’ve tried dieting, which is not easy for me because I JUST LOVE FOOD. I love trying different kinds of food and going out of my way to visit restaurants. I am not the type of girl who can just eat a salad and feel satisfied.

Well, I’ll just let you all know that not all hope is lost. I have recently gotten a membership at a local gym and I hope to keep up with it by going for a couple of hours when I can. It’s shown to be much harder than I thought since I am very often tired from working full time, but hopefully I can find some motivation. But if any of you have any advice you’d like to share, PLEASE DO! I’d love to hear some easy ways to lose some weight and go back to feeling great again. :)

Live. Laugh. Love.

Picture This

09:33 pm: picturethisblog1 note

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Picture This.

You’re staring at the end of your college career. Graduation is only a few months away. Your diploma is so close within your reach.Yet you’re mixed up with so many bittersweet feelings. A part of you can’t wait to graduate and move on to the next part of your life, and a different part of you is scared to find out what that next part of your life will be. You know what you want to accomplish, you know what you’re ultimate goal is, and maybe you even know how long it’s going to take to get you there. But then, you’re sitting on your couch thinking to yourself, but what about the time in between now and achieving that goal?

Greetings readers! First of all, I would like to apologize on behalf of Picture This that we have not been keeping up with blogging. We have so many different things going on in our life, it’s just hard to keep track! I hope we find a way to fix all of this. Anyway, the above situation is kind of what I’m going through right now. I’m sure if you’ve experienced this situation before you know exactly what I’m taking about. For those of you that aren’t quite there yet, I don’t want to scare you, because I promise the feeling is very exciting, so just look forward to it. But, I’m sure you’re all wondering, what am I going to do after I graduate? To be honest, I don’t think I’m entirely too sure yet. Yes, I do have ideas in mind so I’m not completely in the dark here, but what I mean is, I’m sort of waiting to see where life takes me. There’s only so much you can do, and you know you will do anything that you need to, but sometimes, I feel like you can just let go and let life lead the way.

Well, enough about this. I think right now I just want to enjoy my last days in college. With the way things are for me right now, it’s the first time I can just enjoy what I’m doing. My classes aren’t too stressful and I love all of the activities I’m able to invest some of my time in. But of course my parents aren’t too fond of these “activities” of mine. They’re the type of parents who always believe that school comes first and nothing should get in the way of school. Although I do agree with them on some level, there’s nothing wrong with doing the things you love to do. One time, my mom asked me, “What are you going to gain from these things that you are doing?” When she asked me this, I couldn’t really answer her. At least, I couldn’t give her the answer she wanted to hear. But when I thought to myself about it, I could only think of this: "It’s not about what I am going to gain from the things, but rather what these things are going to gain from me."

Live. Laugh. Love.

Picture This.

01:15 am: picturethisblog

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Anonymous said: Hi guys. I love your blog!

Thanks!

01:42 am: picturethisblog

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Force vs. Kryptonite.

My Force: Just like the song says, “I’m a movement by myself, but I’m a force when we’re together.”

One guy I’ve had in my life for two years was everything I’ve ever wanted. Although I don’t believe in a Mr. Perfect, he was definitely perfect for me. I knew he balanced me, and everything just seemed so right with him. On top of all that, everyone I love in my life loved him. It was such an amazing feeling to know that I did good. The worst thing about college relationships? Once it’s over you move back home with the parents. Our relationship just shot to the ground when he moved back home. His parents are CRAZY strict for whatever reason and it was the brick wall that stood in it’s place, unable to be broken down. I never saw him, hardly ever talked to him, it was like being in high school again, or even worse middle school. Every little thing would get him into trouble, whether it be coming to see me or talking on the phone with me. The only sort of communication that we were allowed was AIM. How lame is that? I put up with this for MONTHS. Why? Simply because of the reasons above. I loved him. But the whole parents situation? That was just too much. It took a lot for me to finally see the things I was overlooking, and unfortunately our relationship ended because it just wasn’t fair and healthy for either one of us. But at the end of the day, he’s still that same Force I know and love.

My Kryptonite: Superman is powerful, but we all know his weakness is kryptonite.

You know this guy. He carries all the qualities you never wanted and never liked in the guy. You swore to yourself that someone like him would never even be given a chance with you. And yet? He melts you like a popcicle on a hot summer day. You don’t know what it is about this guy, but there’s that little something that makes you go weak in the knees. Kryptonite has all these characteristics that I would never like, but we have one important thing in common. We both have a love and passion to perform. I think this is the reason my heart is set on fire around him. He can dance, sing, play instruments, all the things I absolutely love and have a passion for and he can do it all. I can just sit there all day and watch him perform. It’s amazing. And now you see why he makes my heart so weak? Plus he does all the things that my relationship with Force was lacking. He can actually be there for me. I can see him when I want, we constantly talk, he’s truly romantic and sweet at heart. No wonder he makes me swoon for him. He’s my weakness.

What do I do? My heart and mind is confused right now. I love Force. I still love him even though we’re not together anymore. If things were different honestly I think we would still be together. It was just so right, but the situation is all wrong. Kryptonite gives me all the things I want, but he’s not what I’m looking for in a guy. I’m afraid that it might just be a phase and one day I’m going to wake up from it. But I can’t help it. It makes me feel nice inside. I’m just confused. If you have any advice out there, I’d really appreciate it. Thanks.

Live. Laugh. Love.

Picture This.

03:13 am: picturethisblog13 notes

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Picture this…

A beautiful Friday evening surfing the Internet, when you come across an interesting article, possibly not in relation to everyone, but interesting enough to read.

Hey readers! Sorry for such a drastic delay with postings. Senior year of college is coming to a close so it’s been pretty hectic. :x I came across this article, and I thought you all might be interested in taking a peak at it. It’s quite interesting. :-)

Live. Laugh. Love.

Picture This.

06:43 pm: picturethisblog

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Picture This.

You’re lying in bed, only hours away until your birthday. You’ve been so busy lately that you haven’t had the time to plan anything. But you know you have the best of friends and people in your life you have no doubt in your mind they will be there for you. It’s your special day, and you know that everyone’s going to make sure it’s nothing short of special. With all these loving people in your life, your birthday is bound to be EPIC right?

Greetings readers. So today is my birthday. The big 22. And? Nobody noticed. The only thing I’m feeling is the aching of my broken heart. I guess it was my fault to expect so much. Maybe I’m just being selfish. But a friend told me that it’s not being selfish when you’re there for their birthday and you only expect the same respect back. She’s right. I only expected the effort from those who I made every effort to be there for them. So, it hurts. It’s been hurting all week and I’ve just been harboring it all up.

Someone else’s birthday was this weekend too, and many asked me to be there and provide the “party supplies.” I made every effort to be there, because I wanted that person to have an amazing birthday. But when I mentioned it was my birthday too? Nothing. No one knew. What an awkward feeling which quickly turned into an awful feeling. 

It’s one thing to plan an event FOR my birthday. It’s another thing to plan an event then invite me BECAUSE it’s my birthday. If it was for me, it would have been what I wanted and with my friends. It was nothing like that. So I didn’t go.

There was no point in celebrating my birthday anymore. I was no longer in the mood to celebrate. I couldn’t stand the idea of people wishing me “Happy Birthday” when there was nothing happy about it. I wanted to get away. I wanted to spend my birthday with people when it really mattered. So I drove the long hours to be home with my family. I made the right decision, and God was with me every step of the way. I feel so much more at peace now, and I couldn’t be more glad to be here. Especially since it is also Mother’s Day, so I get to spend this special day with my mom too. I’m thankful to those who were really there for me, and only wanted for me what I wanted. Thank you.

Live. Laugh. Love.

Picture This.

02:59 am: picturethisblog7 notes

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Picture This.

Another weekend getaway to the city of lights..LAS VEGAS. You were just there two weeks ago with your group of girls clubbing and having fun, but this time it’s different. Different people, different crowd. The result? 17 people. 1 room. And you are one of the TWO people 21+. I know what you’re thinking..it couldn’t have possibly been THAT fun..right?

Greetings readers! So this past weekend I went to Vegas with some friends of mine. This trip was planned about a month ago and the main purpose of the trip was so we can all become closer and bond..like a family. I was already close to a couple of them, but I knew we all felt we needed to bond with each other more, and Vegas definitely did that for us. If I could sum up this past weekend in one word? It would definitely be AMAZING. I absolutely loved it. I got to know the people more and we really did get to bond. I love times like these..when you get to share special connections with friends that only brings you closer. Especially those who rode in my car have my heart right now. haha <3 Now, I don’t want to make it sound too cheesy. We did have FUN. And you all know when we say fun we mean FUN. Let’s just say, everyone got their share of the FUN.

A perfect weekend? You know what they say..things are always just too good to be true..

There was definitely some DRAMA going on this weekend. And it all started because of ONE girl. You all know that girl..the girl who you don’t like because she walks around thinking she’s so cute. There’s just something about that girl that ticks you off because somehow she manages to push all the wrong buttons. I’ll admit, Annoying Girl did tick me off, but she technically wasn’t my enemy. My closest friend that came on the trip made it clear she did not like Annoying Girl, and everyone knew it. Well..except for her. Annoying Girl coming along for the trip was just random. And the rumor going around is that she invited herself. On top of that it was her birthday this weekend. What an attention hog right? As if the spotlight should always be on her. I respect my friend for trying to play the nice guy in the beginning, but I knew by the end of the trip Annoying girl was not my friend’s favorite person at all..or ever. Well, I just hope the air clears up soon, because right now it’s just MESSY.

So, I want to leave you all on a positive note, so I’ll just say this: 

You may not like everyone, and everyone may not like you. When meeting or getting to know people, never make assumptions or judgments right away. Give people the chance to get to know you, and allow them to give you a chance to get to know them. You never know..it might just surprise you. :)

Live. Laugh. Love.

Picture This.

02:36 am: picturethisblog1 note

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Picture this…

A girl is stuck in the middle…having to choose between a douche and a nice guy.

Hello peeps! So many things can happen during your four years of college and I can say I’ve been through most of the bad ones with someone I’d like to call Mr.Wrong.

Why is it so hard to let go of someone that you know isn’t right for you?

Many might say attachment..it could be but so many other things come into play. I’ve been in an on-and-off relationship with Mr.Wrong since freshman year and we are both about to graduate this year. I think I’ve finally realized it has to come to an end soon. After so many lies and catching him getting girls numbers and what not, it makes me not trust him which makes me go crazy and act like a controlling gf. Its a cycle that never ends. He continues doing it and I don’t think we are ever going to get through it. I don’t think he’s ready to settle down which is completely fine but I don’t want to keep getting hurt. I love him and I know he loves me too but I think it’s not enough to keep us going.

I have ended the relationship so many times that he doesn’t even take me seriously anymore. When I ended things 3 weeks ago he came knocking on my door with a huge easter bunny and eggs with my favorite candy inside. I didn’t know what to say because this time I though I was never talking to him again. The day after he acted like we were back to normal when I specifically told him I needed time and space and wasn’t sure about him anymore. Even so I still went out to lunch with him once a week but not call him just responded to his texts.

Another guy in the pic…

I have been going out with a friend of mine and he’s showed me how I should be treated. I enjoy hanging out with him since he treats me like a princess and doesn’t put me down like Mr.Wrong. The problem is that I don’t know if I want to be in a relationship again. Also the physical attractiveness isn’t all there. Mr. Nice Guy is cute but not HOT. I know I would never get hurt by him but is that enough to stay with someone? I feel like I’ve been so hurt by Mr.Wrong that I’m just looking for a nice guy to settle with. And with Mr.Wrong sticking around for the ride, I’m not sure what to do with 2 guys now. Last night Mr. Wrong and I got into an argument because I caught him lying again and although I told him it would be better off if we didn’t talk anymore I know he will find his way back in the picture whether it be by buying  me stuff or brainwashing me. Even so, I am still going out with my friend and if Mr.Wrong ever found out I don’t know what he would do because he is very overprotective and would do something stupid. Again, I’m stuck in the middle…

Live. Laugh. Love.

Picture This.

01:56 am: picturethisblog

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Picture this.

…It’s 11:30pm and you’re heading over to a guy’s place to watch a movie. You like him, he likes you. And let’s face it, you guys aren’t naive. You know you’re going to end up sleeping over, and he knows it too. This picture seems pretty natural right? The problem is…when does this girl really know when to say enough is enough?


Hey readers,

So that above picture is pretty much my most current “situation.” But boy is this just another one of those typical issues I go through with life. Let’s just say, I just got back to my apartment from a WONDERFUL night with my…friend? (Notice the sarcasm and doubt.) I was on the phone with my friend, and as usual, we were talking about boys.

This guy supposedly admitted many times to me that he really likes me. So why does he keep having to admit this? It’s because I question his actions. Simple as that. We all know the saying, “actions speak louder than words.” He admits he likes me, yet he can’t ever seem to show me any sort of sexual/physical connection, or better yet even kiss me! At one point, he even put his hand on my cheek, leaned in, then REJECTION, he tells me “wait, I’m sorry, I can’t do this.” What a slap in the face. RIDICULOUS. He tells me he wants to kiss me, but has the problem over-analyzing every little situation. He feels our little relationship we have with each other is such wrong timing, so kissing me would make things worse.

In my opinion, and readers…you can be indifferent with me if you like, but I feel that kissing is just kissing. It’s just a natural way of expressing to a man or woman that you like them. There’s nothing wrong with that. Heck, I kiss everyone I like! Men and women! It’s love in this club! Okay, too far. ;-) Any who, to conclude, I came up with this little number…

"HOW COWARDLY ARE YOU?!"

The whole time I slept over, he didn’t try to kiss me at all! College students, in bed, no kissing. ?!?! Yea, I’ll be honest. It’s a little upsetting. If a guy likes a girl, it should be so natural. You would just want to kiss someone. No questions. So when is it time to throw the towel? Well here is where I stand…

"You can continue having fun with anyone you please, just remember to keep telling yourself that you have accepted him/her for who they are. Complaining is out of the picture. You already know you won’t be given the certain attention you want, so don’t expect."

That’s all with this guy I now refer to as, Confused Boy. Oh yea, if you readers are wondering what’s going on with me and Mr. Vegas…he’s still in the picture. ;-) Until next Picture This…

Live. Laugh. Love.

Picture This.

10:40 am: picturethisblog1 note